To the one or two people who actually read these things.
Sorry I have been so off the planet lately.
This year hasn't really gone to plan for me so far, to say the least.
2013 is shaping up to be a real motherfucker, if I'm honest.
But I am determined to stay positive.
We have relocated to Northern NSW- a little town called Evans Head, where I grew up.
When we first moved here it rained/stormed/was generally shitty weather, for an entire 3 weeks.
We couldnt do laundry, we couldnt go outside. And in a little coastal town, where there is little to do when you are unemployed except go for walks along the beach etc- we were getting a little stir crazy.
Then my pops had a stroke. He was in hospital for 3 days before he passed away.
The family I had always thought was pretty tight knit, is now no longer so close.
Its sort of split down the middle. We haven't been greiving as a family unit. We've been talking about it each other, but not to eachother. I think Pop would be pretty dissapointed with the way this has torn us all apart, rather than brought us together.
I went on tour with a buddy that didnt work out, and we had to come home early, costing me time and money I didn't have.
I've put on weight, because I couldnt afford to sign up for another season of 12wbt because I've been so broke- and although I learned enough in the past season to continue the work without actually doing the program, I have caved to my normal emotional eating and not prioritising my fitness. I'm dissapointed with myself, and its hard getting myself out of the rutt to get back on the horse when there's so much other crap going on.
It's been near impossible to find work down here, which is putting strain on just about everything, and on top of all that, I'm living with my folks again. Which is just hard.
Last night I ate so much for dinner I kept waking up uncomfortable from how full and horrible my stomach felt.
When I woke up this morning I decided this all has to stop.
So that's why I'm posting this entry. I'm acknowledging the shit stuff. And then I'm moving on.
Because the struggle is part of the story.
I am making a concerted effort to turn things around from today.
I've worked too hard for too long to let a few shitty months take me back to the miserable place I used to be in.
I am making the rest of 2013 my bitch.
